I was not your regular ten year old, I come from a big family, but being the only female gave me privacy. This was something that my brothers could only dream of, and instead of playing with my friends, or playing with babies, I would rather be locked up in my room playing with myself. Not just with my hands, but with different toys, markers, and even vegetables. I had never had anything inside of me, but I craved it. Once, while I was being the busybody that I am, I found a playboy under the mattress in my brother’s bed. I immediately locked myself in my room and began to flip through it. That tingly feeling of excitement filled my body, the female body was beautiful. I just hoped to grow up and look like them. I started wearing skimpier clothes, and acting like the girls that I saw on TV, and even though I was young, I looked older, and I know I attracted the attention of many men. One of those, my daddy’s “compadre Mario” (he was Daniel’s — my younger brother’s godfather) he. It was how I got in shape that was the problem. I grew up in a violent hick village in northern BC. The closest police station was in town, a 25-minute drive away. If you phoned the cops, they knew that by the time they got there, the criminal would be long gone, so they wouldn’t even try. They would typically get there 2 hours after you phoned.A study was done on the region, which suggested at least 50% of all households within the area had at least one person in an abusive situation. I was the one in my household. My parents never laid a hand on me. They would tell me to shut up and go to my room whenever I told them how I was always under threat of abuse. The other kids in the village were jealous and ended up giving me gang beatings all through grades 1 - 7. It didn’t matter what I said or did; my parents never cared. I could show them my long list of severe injuries as proof and would be told to stop making up stories and go to my room. By the time I was 14, if you were to ask me.
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